My fears

I've found that I have some very specific... strange fears, that stop me from doing every day things. I'm not sure if they are logical or not, but I shall list them, for your reading entertainment...

• Going on a train, just in case the train doors don't open
• Going in a train tunnel
• Going in ANY lift
• Going in an underground car tunnel
• Getting in a car
• Riding in the back of a bus
• Sleeping with no lights on
• Sleeping in a tent
• Sleeping without a blanket
• Going anywhere further than walking distance from my house
• Storms
• Being in a place with no phone signal

Most of things should be a part of my day to day life, but I will do ANYTHING to make sure that I never have to go through any of them. It affects my life a lot really, but I can live with it. My university is about half an hours walk away... I don't have any work yet and my family always come to visit me (they're an hours express train ride away). But I'm starting to see if affect even my relationship. I can't go out at night to the party district (not that thats my scene anyway), I can't go adventuring through mountains like I used to... Everything is based above my above fears. For some reason, I'm ok with going through underground Bus tunnels, as long as I'm at the front of the bus... I'm also ok with glass lifts.

Does anyone else have these kinds of fears? Is it just me?

Well, today I really don't have too much to gripe about.

The weather is fine, no one has personally offended me by saying something on the news, my back yard is super clean now...

So, not much to gripe about. I guess this will be a "me" post.

Tomorrow, I will be going in for my (hour fucking long) interview, to volunteer for the Big Brothers, Big Sisters group. I basically make friends with a disadvantaged kid they pair me up with. I'm also going to be volunteering for the Dressed for Success group, where women who are too poor to buy themselves a nice suit for a job interview, are given a couple of nice outfits, interview skills and some shoes. I'am also planning on volunteering to help tutor kids in English at a poor school. I managed to graduate English in grade 12 one of the top of my grade, so I figure I can help out.

So, I guess you think I'm a good person for helping out and volunteering. Well, I guess I am in some ways. But my main reason to start volunteering now, is because the completion of my degree requires me to clock 400 hours of volunteer work, helping out people. Also, it gives me some great references to actually get me a paid job. However, Big Brothers and Big Sisters is something I'm passionate about... thats about the kid I'll be friends with, not just the hours and super duper references.

Meh. Hopefully I'll be able to make friends. I love living with my boyfriend, but it's nice to have people over.

The myth of Equality.

(Just as a note, when I finally get my camera to work, I will take pictures of my throwing knife target and post them)

Equality is something we can all seemingly stand for. I mean, if we are all equal, we would have nothing to fight about hey?

But we are not equal, are we? I am a fairly poor person, meaning that I am often treated worse in stores and social gatherings, as opposed to richer people, who have status symbols such as a car and a nice house. And why are we treated differently? Because the other person has more money, in this case anyway. People don't even realize they're doing it.

But even then, just because I have breasts, I get free drinks at parties and am held the door open for. I, however, are not like most girls and will almost always return the favor.

Anyway, what I am pointing out is that equality is a stupid idea, that has no basis in the human Psyche or society what so ever. I treat someone who is rude to me differently to someone who asks politely... it's just how it's work. I know that you need to draw the line, such as giving everyone an equal CHANCE, but that is different to treating them equally as well.

People think that when someone treats someone differently, they can blame it on race or sex. But they can't. You have to blame it on the structure and teaching of society from a young age, to expect that certain people have certain jobs and certain ways of life. They may have had bad experiences in the past with a person of that race or sex, OR... OR, this is a good option, the person who is being treated differently... IS DOING A BAD JOB.

OH MY GOODNESS. HAS NO ONE THOUGHT OF THAT??? *rage*

Sorry about that, but I'm sick of hearing about how a woman/man in a workplace is fired, she/he claims gender bias and it turns out that she was doing a shit job anyway.

Anyway, my main point is that equality is pointless in this society. People will ALWAYS have their own opinions about people who are a certain sex, race, or hold a certain religious or political view point. We need to recognize this to make sure we can, finally, look at each other and not see anyone as a particular race or sex, but as simply another human being.

Well hi,

I've found my posts to be rather... impersonal. I mean, they contain my opinion and such, but not really anything about me. I don't know... I just feel like talking about a couple things that I do, rather than just go on cynical rants. But meh. It's not Facebook here. I shall write about myself sporadically, and try not to bore anyone.

So, this is my first "me" post.

Well, I live in this great, big, windy, flooded, wet, ablaze country called Australia. I love it here, specially in Queensland. We're the kind of people who don't complain it's hot until it's about 45 degrees Celsius (113 F) and start complaining when it gets to about 20 degrees Celsius (68 F). I've lived through drought and flood, cyclones and bush fires. I guess its just a part of life here.

I live with my boyfriend in a lovely 2 room unit, full of asbestos and dust. But the back yard is lovely and large and it's better than not being in Brisbane. I am in University at the moment, doing a Bachelor of Human Services (I was doing a Bachelor of Business, but I figured this would produce more jobs, considering the amount of social workers they need at the moment) and volunteer here and there.

I am learning to throw knives (proper ones, not kitchen), partaking in Pen Paling, collecting stamps, reading books, drinking and smoking and enjoying life in general. I have a soft modded Wii, because I'm too poor to buy games...

And I just realized how boring this is to read. Well, enjoy!

Well, that was an a astoundingly good movie. With most movies these days, about half way through I begin to want it to end. Not this time. It kept me griped right the way through. Even though some of the dialogue was lengthy, it was necessary to keep up the pioneer character. Not only was the acting top notch, but the plot was progressive and made sense (well, most of it. Some was a little hazy). True Grit is something I definitely recommend seeing.

So, moving on from praise, I move to my usual cynical attitude towards cinematic releases.

For some reason, a channel in my country, which I can only compare to Fox News in its accuracy and bias, seems to love picking up on movies (or receiving money from the marketing agents) that are CRAP. They will give them good reviews, call them family friendly and also disembowel movies that are not "agreeable". For example, on a current affairs show, they ran an expose` detailing how horridly gory and scary the recent Harry Potter movie was, and warned families from going to see it, saying how the director had gone off track and lost his child audience. However, when Yogi Bear came out they, even with no monetary back up, recommended it, called it hilarious and great for all ages. I would seriously consider severely hurting myself over seeing that movie. Another example is their promotion of Gulivers Travels, which was not a BAD movie, just very hyped up.

I've found that good movies, even children's movies, are often ignored simply because they spent too much money on a well written script and not enough on promotion. I LOVE seeing movies that have ambiguous trailers (not doomsday ones, they're just stupid). I can't predict the plot, I go in with no expectations, and that makes the whole experience that much better. I love how they're not given a million plot summaries and splattered all over the internet. Even after reading a review for Black Swan, I still can't see the resolution from it (or choose to ignore it), and I can't wait to see it!

People need to realize that just because something is the biggest and brightest, doesn't make it the best.

Well hi guys.

I've decided to update this blogie thing more often. Today's post is me telling you that I'm too busy getting ready to see True Grit to write anything decent at the moment. Check back tonight for more bitch... I think this time I may talk about Cinema and how good movies often don't get the attention and praise they deserve.

I'm back!

I guess I'm back, rambling on about useless things as usual.

This time, I'm here to complain about the media, and most notably, the coverage of the recent natural catastrophes that have happened in my state, in which no area was spared.

Now, I get bat shit scared at even the hint that there may be a storm around, even if it only lasts about 15min (which here in storm season, they usually do). I freaked the fuck out when I heard about the flooding which inundated the lower half of my street. So, as a test, when I first saw cyclone Yasi forming out in the Pacific ocean, I decided that I would not watch or read any news item about the cyclone until it had crossed the shore (it's still a cyclone now I think).

So, I did. For 4 pain staking days I did not click on my favorite site, Google news. And you know what? I read the news this evening for the first time. It was a hell of a storm. One of the biggest in our history, considering it's gone further inland than any other has. But no one died. I was not affected. I had no reason to panic. I heard people in the local super markets telling their fellow paranoid friends about how they were doing the usual cyclone things like taping their windows and such, simply because it was not EXPECTED that it would hit Brisbane. It was as though that one degree of fear pushed by the media was enough to tip the reasonably minded people of Brisbane, who had just been through a historic flood, over the edge into panic.

Another thing I noticed, browsing the local news sources for the flood of news about Cyclone Yasi, was the same sources and the same information being repeated over and over again, not just by different news outlets, but in each of the separate stories in each different news outlet. Constantly telling me to keep tuned for more information, recycling the old stuff to make it seem new... It was maddening.

But enough of that. I am glad they are getting some media coverage, because without it, we would not care enough to help. I guess that if we cause enough panic and grief, everyone will fork out great sums of money to read a news paper that tells them where to donate.