*sigh*

I really don't feel like being social.

I was offered a position as a Guide leader. They really need one, or else they will have to shut down the Guide unit of the Hut. But I went to the meeting last night, and the only thing I could do was panic. I didn't want to talk to people... I hate people at the best of times. Now the expect me to be the Guide leader. I feel really bad turning this down, but I'm going to have too. I've got my other volunteering things to do, and university. Fuck this, I feel so bad...

I guess I'll just text them. The other leaders have a way of skewing their words so you have to help out anyway like "Oh, we can work AROUND that" or "Sure you can't just do a couple of hours a week?". NO, FUCK OFF.

Yes, I am the self serving type, but only because when I'm not, I have to deal with people who guilt you into shit. It's better just to not care at all when it comes to certain organisations.

As for the Big Brother Big Sister thing, I'm still going ahead with that. The interviewer was really nice to me and they said I didn't have to go in a lift to get to their office... that I could take the stairs. But no Guides... they just made me feel like shit. I'm not even going to call, I'm just going to text them to tell them. Half the girls didn't like it there because their mothers were just forcing them into something for "extra curricular" activity. Fuck that, I NEVER did extra curricular activity and still managed to get myself into a good university. The other mothers just thought of us as glorified baby sitters.

Anyway, that's what my next post will be about... stupid fucking mothers.

Well, today I really don't have too much to gripe about.

The weather is fine, no one has personally offended me by saying something on the news, my back yard is super clean now...

So, not much to gripe about. I guess this will be a "me" post.

Tomorrow, I will be going in for my (hour fucking long) interview, to volunteer for the Big Brothers, Big Sisters group. I basically make friends with a disadvantaged kid they pair me up with. I'm also going to be volunteering for the Dressed for Success group, where women who are too poor to buy themselves a nice suit for a job interview, are given a couple of nice outfits, interview skills and some shoes. I'am also planning on volunteering to help tutor kids in English at a poor school. I managed to graduate English in grade 12 one of the top of my grade, so I figure I can help out.

So, I guess you think I'm a good person for helping out and volunteering. Well, I guess I am in some ways. But my main reason to start volunteering now, is because the completion of my degree requires me to clock 400 hours of volunteer work, helping out people. Also, it gives me some great references to actually get me a paid job. However, Big Brothers and Big Sisters is something I'm passionate about... thats about the kid I'll be friends with, not just the hours and super duper references.

Meh. Hopefully I'll be able to make friends. I love living with my boyfriend, but it's nice to have people over.